Well hello. At the moment I plan to use this platform as a diary, given that like - one person will see this. I intend to write about my experiences and pray that the things I learned from them will help someone. All coming from a young woman who is really just getting started in life.
So let me really introduce myself. I honestly find it hard to talk about myself, so try not to judge. I'm Lex - a twenty-three year old soon to be college graduate. I grew up a product of divorced parents which I believe gave me character. I consider myself seasoned.
My parents divorced when I was in diapers, and that was only the start of a very difficult journey of beginning to find myself.
Only until recently I would've considered myself sort of lost in life. However, I've gotten clarity as to what I want in this life in the past six months due to some major life events and lessons learnt. My perspective on life has changed for the better.
I was an indifferent child in general - neither depressed nor happy. I feel like I struggled to find a sense of purpose for a really long time. It was tough for me to find individuality even though looking at me you wouldn't have guessed it. I've always come off confident. Like I had everything figured out.
Fast forward to deciding on college. I grew up in New Jersey and decided to go to college in California - yeah. I look back and think that I probably took that leap of faith to feel something, to make someone out of myself, to go as far away from what I knew to see if that made a difference in how I felt. However, it only induced major anxiety and caused a plethora of issues in my life... which I can elaborate on later.
And you guessed it! I transferred home after my first year. I never felt more confused than I did at that point in my life. And I realize that MANY students transfer. However, it had nothing to do with the school or academics. For me it was coming to terms with the fact that I had deeper rooted issues, and I barely recognized myself. If I was confused before, it had just gotten a whole lot worse.
I was so disconnected from who I was as a person that I tried literally anything to feel something. Impulsive, reckless, inconsiderate. That was me. I hurt a lot of people that I cared about.
Big deal Lex.
Looking back, if I hadn't gone through those couple years of behaving like I didn't have a care in the world I probably wouldn't be where I am today. And where I am today is so much better. I wish I would've known that it would all be okay when I was 18.
So those are the major things one should know about me! I plan to share some tips that I wish someone shared with me as a young girl.